heavy whipping cream

Have you ever been at the grocery store putting unsweetened almond milk in your cart and you have this amazing vision of yourself drinking a whole pint of heavy whipping cream right there in the store?  Me either.  This actually happened to me when I was at the store last Wednesday.  So I put two pints of heavy whipping cream in my cart.  This felt so good and so right, even though I don’t drink milk.   I needed it.  As you know, I was on my period last week and so we can just blame it on that.  Except I don’t ever crave milk.  It actually grosses me out just thinking about it now.  The only time I have craved real milk was when I was pregnant. Both pregnancies actually, and I even drank glasses of milk and couldn’t stand myself because I loved it so much.  I get this heavy whipping cream home and start to think of whipped cream and putting it on everything.  Now, these are just visions.  I am not actually eating this yet.  I put the two pints away in the fridge and notice there is another one in the back of the fridge unopened that I bought two weeks before.  Hmmmm.  Am I pregnant?  Oh God!  Oh No!  Damn it!  I count the days of my cycle and realize I started my period on day 23.  That is really early!  Oh My Gosh, am I pregnant?  Was that just the baby implanting in my uterus and I just thought it was my period starting?  Oh God Oh God Oh God oh God!   NO!  This cannot be happening!  I am 37, I can’t start over, my kids are just starting to not need me all day, we just got Red going to school all day in first grade, Blu is practically a grown up, I cannot have a baby right now, or ever again!!!!!  Buzz had a vasectomy 2 years ago.  This doesn’t stop me from thinking I am pregnant on a regular basis.  You hear of all these crazy stories about people getting pregnant when they are on the pill, or have an IUD, or using condoms, or had a vasectomy, or was pregnant and didn’t know it until the birth of the baby occurs when they sit down to pee at a gas station toilet.  I just know this could be me someday.  My mom has been telling me for years that I am going to have 3 children.  How does she know this?  Why would she even say this to me?  She even laughs when she talks about my third child.   Like this is some hilarious joke on me when this third baby shows up and she will have known this was the plan all along.  I have two children, thank you God for blessing me with them!  But, I do not want to have another.   You will be happy for me to find out that it was just my period and not a surprise pregnancy.   So now I can eat this whipped cream in peace.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>